this beer tastes like vomit already
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
