Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
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