exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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