Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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