I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I just had sex on a roof
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
