I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize
