Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
You made out with two different species that night
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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