You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
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