I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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