It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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