He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
