I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Randomize
