I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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