I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
