i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
