i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
