We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
