bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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