yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
He is an equal opportunity slut.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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