i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
