Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
