One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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