He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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