my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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