Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
