I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
