I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
