my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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