are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
