belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
