Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
