my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Randomize
