is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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