Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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