Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
