it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
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