I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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