I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
