I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Just puked most of my soul out..
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
