uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
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