I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
