oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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