Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
