I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Randomize