just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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