so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
