if you like me you must not know who I am
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
