Say something about gay babies.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
