Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize