the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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