"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
