I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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