she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
