Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize